Why I am an epic failure as a parent, and why I don’t care.

So I am a mother to 4 kids. K1; a girl, K2; a boy, A; a boy and K3; a girl.

K1 is our recessive gene child. She also took all the good genes and stole them from her siblings. She is tall, 5’9″, with blond hair and grey eyes (see what I mean, recessive genes at work here). She graduated high school with a near perfect G.P.A. while working a job, volunteering at 2 zoos and an animal rescue/ training place. Right now she is working several jobs to pay off debt before she returns to college to get her Bachelor’s degree in either animal science or zoology.

K2 is my Marine. He is married to the sweetest girl, and expecting his first child in March. K2 had fun in high school and pushed the limits, making me pull my hair out and smoke a few extra cigarettes at times. Overall though, he wasn’t that bad and definitely has made a great life for himself now.

A, who reminds me often he is the only non-K name, was my first challenge child. Alcohol intoxication arrest at age 13. Pot usage at the same age. Sneaking out of the house and taking the car to party at age 15. I swear I saved his life by pulling him out of school and driving him to Texas 3 days before his 16 birthday. Although we still went through a cocaine addiction after that.

Today A is the youngest supervisor at his company. He has been clean for 2 and a half years now. He lives on his own and just recently bought his own car. A has made a complete 360 of his life and I swear it’s all because I took him out of school and away from those influences. People questioned my actions at the time, but I say look at him now.

<<>> K3, herein lies my parenting failure. Lets give you some detailed history, please bear with me. K3 has always had separation issues. Preschool, kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade, the teachers would have to pull her and hold her off me most of the time to get her to stay for class. So here is the teacher peeling K3 off me and me running for the hills with K3 crying. Thankfully by 3rd grade that stopped but she still was reluctant to go to class, same with 4th, 5th, and 6th.

I think 1st grade was when she developed the “tummy aches” to stay home. She missed more than your average days of school, but hey she also averaged “B”s and “C”s with missing so much school. Yes she could’ve had better grades if she went to school, but in the big scheme of things did it really matter? K3’s separation anxiety definitely got worse when I was diagnosed with cancer 4 1/2 years ago. The amount of school she’s missed since then has gone up for sure.

This year, K3 was doing great. She had a class at the high school 1st period, she’s in 8th grade, so she had to get up early and go to school earlier than normal. Things were going great for the first month, month and a half of the school year. Then she started having issues with the teacher. So she still was going to school just she was missing 1st period. My husband talked to her guidance counselor and got it so the class would be dropped at the end of the quarter so K3 would just not have a 1st period class for the next month and a half.

That went well for about a week. Then one day I went to get K3 up for school and she refused to get up. I mean she flat out refused. I got out the water gun, I stole her blanket, I had her awake and sitting up in bed and the little girl refused to get dressed and go to school. Well hubby was pissed at me. He asked if I was going to spend the night at my parent’s house, I said “no.” I refused to disrupt my 70 something year old parents for K3 being a brat. Well guess what, ole girl refused to get up and go to school the next day too. When hubby got home from work, he refused to talk to me.

Guess what, the next day which was hubby’s day to get her up for school, little girl refused to get up. Hubby dragged her out of her loft bed and she immediately came into our room and bed and laid back down. It then was a game of him attempting to get her up for the next 2 hours before he finally gave up. She then slept until 12 or 1. That night she was asleep by 9 p.m. The next day, same fight but perseverance paid off and hubby was able to get her off to school almost 2 1/2 hours late.

Funny thing is, the next week when she still was not getting up and going to bed earlier than usual, hubby told me to call the doctor and make an appointment, “Because you know she does wake up in the middle of the night several times and she sleeps with her mouth open which is a sign of sleep apnea.” That appointment got us a referral to a pulmonologist for a sleep study. We actually go see him later this afternoon. Took us 2 1/2 months to get an appointment as they only see “sleep issues” on Tuesdays. What a crock.

Well her refusal to go to school has not only continued but has gotten worse. I did go to my parents once and spend the night only to have my dad attempt to drag her out of bed and her be a limp ragdoll. We’ve gotten to school and had to drag her out of the truck. Hell I even called the police the one day and asked for the resource officer, who was a total dick BTW, to be sent over.

K3’s refusal to go to school is so sudden and so extreme I just know in my heart of hearts that something happened. K3 denies it, but my gut is telling me otherwise. Hubby thinks so also. We have K3 in counseling with her 3rd counselor. What can I say, she’s a tough nut to crack.

So I started looking for alternatives. K3 had asked to be homeschooled before. So I looked into online schools. It sounds like the answer to our prayers. She can log in when she wants to, so if that’s 3 p.m. that day then that’s fine as long as she gets her 5 hours of instruction time in. She starts that school later today when we pick up the Chromebook from UPS. They tried to deliver it yesterday, but we weren’t home.

So for my epic parenting fail…for the last month of school, K3 only went to school at lunchtime. Why is that a big deal? Well all her core classes are before lunch, well except English, that’s after. So she would make it to school maybe 3 days a week from lunchtime on for B.S. classes.

She was supposed to return to school January 3rd but we were in Texas for my brother’s wedding. We returned the 7th but she was up until 3 a.m. the night we returned. Then 1 a.m. the next night and I had a dentist appointment. I woke up late for my appointment and by the time I was done, she would have only made half of reading and her elective, so basically a waste. Thursday she had a counseling appointment at 1 p.m., so a waste of time to go as she would have been there only a few minutes before she’d had to leave.

Friday she actually made a deal with her counselor and said she would go in at lunchtime. At first she told us she only was going to pick up paperwork then leave, but dad and I said she was staying. When we got to school though, A, K3’s best friend, was in the office and K3 changed her tune and said she was staying for the rest of the day. I filled out the withdrawal paperwork even though her new school said not to do it until she logged in for the first time, the fight wasn’t worth it (parenting fail). I am excited that she is actually talking to this counselor! But because we withdrew her, they will not let her make up any of her work from January 3rd through the 11th😤.

So here I am, a disabled former nurse who has to spend most of her days less than 45 degrees in a darkened room due to my lovely migraines. Now I am going to be a teacher and crusader for my daughter. The hubby and my parents think she will fail at this like she did normal school. I say she will succeed because it is something she wants to do. I just hope I am right because I am tired of these epic parenting fails. Although my last one turned out all right. So until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes I don’t give a damn what you think about my parenting choices.

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